Anyone who knows me knows that I am not terribly observant and that I say the word “dude” a lot. Both of these qualities are terrible in writers and detectives.
Dude, that guy’s totally dead. Some crazed killer dude probably did it. We should probably figure out who that was, dude.
That’s from my new Detective Dude series. Coming out this fall!
(Shit, that’s not a bad idea. Nobody steal that. Yeah, I’m talking to all six of you.)
Anyone who knows me also knows that I have trouble staying on topic.
Week 6 Results
Anyway, Week 7 of the 12-Week Metabolic Prime Challenge is almost over and I’m, once again, late to recap the prior week’s results. (In case you’re as bad at math as I am, that would be Week 6 results.) But really you’re not missing anything because they were, as Detective Dude would say: Like super inconclusive.
I need to mention that, at first, when I weighed myself a couple days early (on Friday because I thought I might want to weigh myself before the weekend instead of on Sunday), I had lost 1.5 pounds. But then I felt like that was cheating, so I didn’t count it. When I weighed myself again on Sunday, I’d only lost .2. Whatever, dude.
Inches, once again, didn’t move much. I think I lost a half inch from my chest. That is not an area I’m concerned with.
My HEC and SHMEC (Hunger Energy and Cravings, and Sleep Hunger Mood Energy and Cravings) were in check last week, but I did not lose any fat, so after measuring on Sunday, I knew I needed to change something in my diet. I needed to become a Diet Detective which is what Metabolic Effect likes to say.
How to Become a Diet Detective Dude
First, because I’ve been adding fat to my protein and fiber smoothies yet not getting fat loss results, I took out the fat and I added a small amount of carbs instead. (I feel like this is more scientist work than detective, by the way, but whatever.) I used banana.
Unfortunately, I was hungry in an hour. So, I had a protein bar and was hungry an hour and a half later. I had another smoothie for lunch, adding a little banana again. Hungry again an hour later. I went home and raided the pantry like a bear in a campsite, and ended up eating a bunch of gluten-free crackers. An hour later, I felt tired and bloated and I just wanted to take a nap. (But my son came home from school and ruined that idea.)
The next day, I needed to try something different. Maybe I needed a little fat and a little starch together. I did stay fuller longer, but I had intense cravings all day. When I came home from work, I sought out the crackers again, plus three different kinds of chocolate, a pack of Sweet Tarts, and in a desperate attempt to stop the cravings, a ton of chicken jerky. I didn’t feel great afterward, and again, just wanted to nap.
In frustration, I wrote on the wall of the private Metabolic Prime group I belong to:
Yesterday I tried removing fat and adding carbs and I binged on gluten free crackers before dinner. Energy was super low. Today I tried doing a little fat and a little carb and I sought out the crackers again AND this time chocolate too. Again low energy. Back to higher fat, no starch tomorrow. I really want to figure this out. No inches lost again last week. Obviously, I’d make a terrible detective. We are in Week 7, right?
After writing it, I knew what I had to do. I had to put on my Detective Dude running hat and figure out my nutrition. Clearly, my hormones are super sensitive to starchy carbs and fat, so…I decided to “start over.”
On Wednesday, I went back to just protein and fiber for my breakfast and lunch shakes: 8 ounces unsweetened almond milk, a serving of chocolate protein powder, 1-1/2 Tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder, a CUP of spinach and a Tablespoon of chia seeds (the chia seeds were a new addition to add fiber and aid fullness).
The results were awesome. I felt fuller much longer, I had more energy and no cravings. Boom! My lunch shake was the same (just a little less of spinach because I can’t fit more than a ¼ cup in my tiny Magic Bullet blender at work). Dude.
I did have some snacks before dinner, but I was truly hungry (probably because the shakes were pretty low in calories). I snacked on chicken jerky and apple slices. I made salmon for dinner.
I am keeping my shakes the same for now and am looking forward to hopefully uncovering some real results this Sunday.
As Sherlock’s creator Sir Arthur Conan Doyle so wisely said: It is better to learn wisdom late, than never to learn it at all, dude.
Or something like that.