I know it seems like I don’t blog anymore, but I actually do. I just never post them. A lot of pretty lame stuff has been happening and I didn’t want to be a bummer, so I just did what I’ve always been taught: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. This is actually super-not helpful advice to give to a writer. I mean, some writers make fortunes out of writing about every horrible thing that can happen on this planet–or even in space, come to think of it.
It all started when I lost my job. That sucked, and even though I tried not to panic and we were okay and I knew everything would turn out just fine, I was still a ball of stress. I threw myself into working out in August and then I had the wonderful distraction of my mom and nephew coming to visit, and then a family vacay to Disney World. But then school started and the reality hit that I still did not have a job and…now what?
Luckily, it wasn’t too much longer before I suddenly had three interviews scheduled–and they all happened within two days. Shortly after that, I accepted one of them. It’s part-time, and it’s great, except I have to commute (twice as far as I used to)…but, thankfully, only two days a week. Those two days, however, really throw my body off. My hormones are all messed up (mostly because of sleep), and I have still been a little stressed trying to adjust to the pace of a new job, plus keep up with being a mom, working out, eating healthy…you know the drill. I just was not feeling well, and was occasionally throwing myself a pity party.
And then my friend killed herself. I found out because I was on a list of friends she wanted to notify. My heart is broken–especially for her family. And I am full of regret for not being a better friend–the last time I talked to her was right around when I lost my job over the summer. My friend was suffering from some health issues that kept her in near-debilitating pain. She’d been hurting for close to a decade, and it is my opinion that she simply could not deal with it anymore. That doesn’t make it easier to accept, however. Her memorial was last weekend, and I wasn’t going to talk about all this, but I just need to. She is gone and everyone who loved her is hurting.
The plus-side (if there is one), is that her being gone has put some things into perspective for me. This is why you don’t see me as much here or on Instagram or on Facebook or Twitter or on–yikes–SnapChat. I am more focused on living in the moment, and being a better person in real life. I love social media, and I love meeting people through the wonderful Interwebs, but I also need to be present in my off-line life.
That doesn’t mean I’m going to stop blogging. I do like having this space. And, wow, I’m behind on my Halloween race recap. So, signing off for now, but hoping to be back soon…thanks for reading. xo